Stop Expecting to Have Everything Figured Out
It’s all about the journey
What is my purpose? What do I want to do with my life? I don’t know what to do…
As someone in my 20s, I hear statements like this all the time. So much ahead, so many possibilities, yet so much uncertainty and perceived pressure from society and family but also ourselves. Thinking what you want to do for the rest of your life and knowing what you’re truly passionate about can be very overwhelming and daunting.
Dealing with this uncertainty and pressure is specially hard when we have spent most of our lives getting told what to do and what not do to. To succeed, all we had to do was do our homework, get good grades, have friends and get into a university or get a job. The possibilities were limited but structured and straightforward.
Within the blink of an eye, the tutorial of life ends, the guidance fades away and suddenly you’re expected to have everything figured out like the other grown-ups who have been playing the game of life for much longer and who sometimes act like they do have everything figured out.
If that wasn’t enough, social media is making it even harder, constantly exposing you to this world of people, who would never dare to post anything negative about themselves. Comparing ourselves due to this connectivity adds more pressure as the thought that everyone has got everything figured out and is happy gets reinforced.
Do all these people really have everything figured out? Are they really that happy? Does everyone really know what they want to do with their lives?
With so much time ahead, though, should you even have everything planned out? I doubt it.
What if thinking that you know what you want to do is hindering you from really finding out what you’re truly passionate about and enjoying life? I mean, how are you supposed to know so much in advance when there’s still so much to be learned and explored?
Sometimes we feel like we need to have every step planned out, going from A, B, C to D. However, life takes many turns, taking us instead from B to H. We meet people along the way or we experience things that change our perception and ways of thinking. I was so convinced I wanted to go into management consulting until I met one person who introduced me to the world of sales. Now, I can’t even imagine being a consultant.
So, you might be thinking, what do I do if I want to find my true passion and purpose in life? What direction should I go in?
Finding the answer to these important questions requires patience and an open mind.
Instead of getting overwhelmed trying to find the final step, go one step at a time. As you take these smaller steps, expose yourself to new experiences and gather feedback, which will start pointing you in the right direction.
Even if you don’t even know where to start, which is not easy considering all of the possibilities we have out there, just get started and go for it. You have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone, take responsibility over your life and take action.
Sometimes you will fail or do something that you don’t like while other times you will learn, grow, surprise yourself with things you didn’t even know you were interested in or existed. These are all signs of progress and that you’re going in the right direction.
No matter what step you take, you’ll be making progress as you learn from your experiences and discard certain options, taking you from A to B. As times passes, you realize how much more you know than you did before.
Think of the first time you affronted a new challenge that seemed so hard at first, like when you started your first job or tried a new recipe. Obviously it wasn’t perfect right away but as long as you were patient and persistent, progress and learning became inevitable.
Especially now that we are young and energetic, why not try out all of the things you’ve been curious about and postponing over the years. Time flies and one day you will regret not having done that thing you always wanted to try.
Think about what you can do now and stop overwhelming yourself with something that doesn’t need to be figured out just or being afraid of failing. Take advantage of this privilege.
If you do have big and clear goals you want to achieve in the future, that’s great. Strive towards them and learn but be flexible and open to new possibilities that will come along the way.
If the future, however, seems rather blurry or intimidating, think short term. Thinking too far into the future and wondering about your life’s purpose can be overwhelming and paralyze you, getting you nowhere.
On top of that, why would you even want to find only one thing to do with your life, having the privilege of learning and choosing so many things. Every chapter in life comes with new opportunities and it’s never too late to try something new or reinvent yourself. It has never been easier than nowadays.
Personally, I like to keep a bucket list of all the things I want to achieve and I have yet to do. Despite striving for ambitious goals and wondering about the future, I always aim to live in the now, which is the only thing we know with certainty.
The fact that we can even reflect and dream endlessly about the future is something we should be very grateful for. Mindfulness and appreciation will make the journey from A to R, from J to P and from T to B so much more enjoyable and fun.
Enjoy the journey.
